I am going nuts.
If it's not you that I'm missing it's my best friend that's about to get kicked from her house to go live on the fucking streets. Her boyfriend is a jackass. If I heard him call her a whore in front of her little girl I would gut him in the blink of an eye. Not even exaggerating. Once you try to end your life, killing someone else is not something that really scares you. Not when they're threatening the one person on the planet that still really cares about you and sees you as someone amazing and not worthless.
She called me her guardian angel today because I got tired of being home and doing nothing and went out to hand her resumes. I will never understand how can she be so grateful to me. If she's kicked out, there's literally nothing I can do. And she has a baby. And not even her mom wants her home. Stupid bitch. She should've given her daughter for adoption if she hated her so much. A little selfish part of me is happy she didn't though, cause if she had, I had never met her.
You used to call me angel. Pretty sure it was just cause it sounded nice. I mean, after you leaving like you did I wonder what the hell you said that wasn't just blurted out to make the picture look nice.
Lost a job today cause of my dad today. Cause he wouldnt lend me the car again. A stupid two day job at weekends and he won't help me even with that. And you think I took the pills cause of you? How freaking selfish is that? You knew everything that was going on. Every little thing. And you say it was me making excuses and hiding away. I guess in the last moments I got your real thoughts at last.
It just makes me sadder that you knew from the beginning what was going on with me. You knew how bad it was. I gave you my family number if you needed it. And you didn't care. You still don't or you'd be here.
I wish I hadn't wished you a happy birthday so I didn't have to hear you lie to my face again. How can you miss me so much if you're away still? How can it be okay if it hurts as much as you say?
Liar.
LIAR.
You fucking LIAR.
Still me,
girlfromnowhere
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